All in Due Time
by Latin Fox
Summary: After sleeping together at the prom both Meredith and Derek must deal with the ramifications of what it all means, not only for themselves, but each other and the people around them. They must now face each other and deal with the consequences.
1. Beginnings

**Grey's Anatomy:**

**Title:**

**Rating: **PG-13 (ish)

**Keywords: **mostly MerDer ship, MerDer friendship, angst, hurt/ comfort

**Summary: **I'm terrible at summaries, but here goes: After sleeping together at the prom both Meredith and Derek must deal with the ramifications of what it all means, not only for themselves, but each other and the people around them. They must now face each other and deal with the consequences of their actions of that one night. Sucky summary, I know, but trust me its good! )

**Spoilers: **Even though I am a HUGE fan of the show I have yet to memorize or even know most of the titles to all the episodes, so I can't really give you anything, there is nothing major here though, there's nothing that will spoil plot lines for you if you're not current with all the episodes, the only major things are the events of the season 2 finale ("Losing My Religion").

**Disclaimer: **The characters in this fic do not belong to me, I am only using them without permission, but with no ill intentions and no profit is being made of it either. ) The characters belong to their brilliant creator and the actors that portray them, they do a fabulous job in their work and I only hope that I can do them justice in this fic. Shonda, I will do my best to treat your characters and creation with respect and I promise to return them to you at the end in more or less the same condition in which I took them, hehe ) again only the story belongs to me, so please don't sue me ) Im just a poor college girl so there's no gain in it anyway, lol!

**Author's notes: **This is my first Grey's Anatomy fic ever! Yay! I write fan fic mostly for Stargate and The X Files, so I was surprised to see myself coming up with the idea for this fic rather quickly, but I got to say that I really like it, and I'm happy with the way that it turned out. I tried to keep it as close as possible to something that would/ could actually happen on the actual series, so I hope that I accomplished that, please feel free to let me know. The idea for this came after my a friend and I were talking about the season two finale and about what would happen next, somehow this is what I envisioned for the characters. I doubt that my version would actually be presented on screen so I wrote it down. I wrote this in a little over a month or so, I really _really, _wanted to finish it before the season premiere, just so my version can be out there before the real thing, hehe. I have seen the previews for the new season, and wow! I can't wait! So yeah, that's about it, I really hope that you enjoy and I really would appreciate some feedback. Also, FYI, I know absolutely nothing whatsoever about medicine, so I'm sorry for my medical explanations in this fic. Medicine is not my thing, so if it is your thing, I'm so sorry, but I hope that you do get what I'm trying to say. Oh and sorry if the characters are not characteristically correct, I really tried to make them as correct as possible though... anyways on with the show! )

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"Meredith?" Finn said.

"Meredith?" Derek said, as well.

Two men whom she cared so deeply for where both calling out to her, making her choose in that very instant. All Meredith could do was look around at both men staring back at her, but she couldn't meet their eyes. How could she? How was she to decide? Should she go with Finn, a sweet kind man, who only wanted them to be happy? Or should she go with Derek, the man who lied to her, yet still pulled at the strings of her heart? It was not an easy choice, not one she could make in that split second, not after everything that had happened that night.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said to both of them and neither one of them at the same time, as she turned to walk down the stairs to meet up with the rest of the interns.

"Okay," Finn said, only slightly confused, but he figured that she wanted to be with her friends, Derek on the other hand, knew there was more to her leaving alone. Finn turned to look at Derek, but before he could say anything Addison showed up behind Derek, and tapped his shoulder.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

He paused, "Yeah. Yeah, let's go," he said as he walked out with her, avoiding Finn's eyes.

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Okay, I know, really, really short, but remember the story is complete... so please read on and PLEASE let me know what you think of the story, if you can for each chapter... have fun reading:)


	2. Morning After

Hey Hey Hey. Okay one review! Yay! hehe. But, really, thank you! So yeah, I know I said that I was going to put this up before the Premier on ABC, but I lagged it cuz I was really busy with stuff, and then the premier came on and I ignored everything else, hehe. Which is really sad, since I have the whole thing written out already, I just have to upload it. Anyway, so yeah, here's the rest.

((about the premiere LOVED IT! & I now hate that She-Shepherd with an even greater passion!))

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Meredith awoke to a soft ringing coming from her bedside table and it took her a while to realize that it was her cell phone. She really wanted to ignore it and continue trying to get some sleep, but she knew better. She reached over and grabbed it, "Hello?"

"Hey! 'Morning." It was Finn.

"Hmm... 'Morning," she said, looking at her clock, 7:15 am.

"Hope I didn't wake you," he said, taking notice of her very tired sounding voice.

"No, it's okay. I should be getting up anyway, she said as she sat up on her bed, looking out the window at the clouds forming outside as she spoke.

"How was your night? How is Izzie holding up?" Finn asked.

She sighed, "No one slept much around here. Especially Izzie. Despite how hard George or I try, we just can't get though to her. She won't listen or aknowledge us. Alex is the only one who can get through to her. He finally got her to fall asleep about an hour or so ago."

"Oh, wow. Please, give her my condolences."

Meredith smiled at Finn's loving and caring nature, and she couldn't help but feel bad for having had cheated on him, "I will."

There was a small beat of silence before Finn asked, "So. How are you holding up, you looked pretty shaken last night. I mean, with due cause consididering everything that happened, but are you okay?"

The poor thing, he had no clue, "I'm okay," she lied.

There was another beat of silence but this time it was Meredith who broke it, "Finn, umm... can I call you later, I have to get ready for work...," she said, then remembered, "Oh! We were going to have breakfast together today, weren't we?"

"Hey don't worry about it, it's okay. Go get ready, I'll see you later." She could practically see his sweet smile.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Hey, not a problem, I understand. I'll catch up with you later, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Bye, Finn."

"Bye, take care," he said and hung up his end. She kept the phone to her ear a while longer, using the time to reflect about everything that had happened. How she had said both 'sorry' and 'goodbye' to Finn in two completely different ways. She shock her head and hung up the phone. She got up out of bed and made her way down the hall and downstairs.

In the kitchen she found both Alex and George sitting slumped over on the center island staring into their coffee cups. Upon noticing her, George handed her his cup, "I haven't touched it yet."

She smiled, "Thanks."

"'Morning," Alex said.

"Morning," Meredith said to both.

They stayed in silence for a while, George got up and poured himself another cup of coffee and made his way back to sit with the other two. All three looked tired and exhausted, as if they had just finished a double shift at the hospital.

"I don't think we should go in to work today. We should stay here with Izzie, I mean, Bailey, will understand right?" George asked.

"She won't be too happy with all of her interns gone. You two go in, I'll stay here," Alex said, taking a sip from his mug.

"I don't know, shouldn't we all stay, I feel wrong leaving her here like this, crying and not talking," George asked of Alex and Meredith.

"If anyone of us should stay its Alex, George. She doesn't even hear us when we talk to her, she only responds to Alex," Meredith said.

"I know that, but, still. I feel so helpless," George said.

"I think we all feel pretty helpless," Alex said and Meredith nodded, "You guys go, I'll keep an eye on her and I promise I'll call you if anything comes up." With that George got up and made his way upstairs to get ready for work, Meredith stayed with Alex a while longer.

"Have you slept at all?" she asked him.

"Nope," he said, "It's okay, though. I'm not that tired. I'm just happy Izzie finally fell asleep."

Meredith stared at Alex for a moment then smiled at him, "You still love her don't you?"

He only smiled in return, his ears getting slightly red, "You're going to be late," he said, and she continued to smile at him as she walked out of the kitchen. She knew Alex was a sweet guy and she really appreshiated it that he was help Izzie out.

Meredith returned upstairs and peeked into Izzie's room, who's door was open a slight crack. She was awake again and just staring out into space. "Iz. How are you doing?" she asked her, but Izzie only continued to stare at the same spot off in the distance, no reaction to Meredith's voice whatsoever.

Alex came up behind her and whispered to Meredith, "She awake?"

"Yeah," she whispered back, stepping aside and letting Alex walk into Izzie's room. Meredith watched him walk over to the side of her bed and sit besides her, holding her hand. He began to talk to her, whispering to softly for Meredith to make anything out, but Izzie did turn to the sound of Alex's voice.

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TBC... How are you guys liking it so far? Please let me know.

A/N: Okay, I kinda made a mistake, like I said, I have the whole thing written out already, but I was going to go back and write a chapter that's kind of important to the rest of the story. I couldn't get it right, so I decided to come back to it later, and now I realize it should go after this chapter... and yes, I haven't written it yet. I'll get it done tomorrow, so that I can add the rest of the chapters.


	3. Back at Seattle Grace

Yay, more reviews! Thank you so much for reading this story, glad you are liking it and reading it! It means a lot. 0)

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**Chapter 3: Back at Seattle Grace**

Addison and Derek walked into Seattle Grace together early in the morning, each holding a styrofoam cup of coffee. "Is everything okay?" Addison asked of Derek.

"Hmm? What do you mean?" he said, turning to face her as they waited for the elevator together.

"You just seem a little off, kind of quite," she said.

"Oh. No, I'm fine. Just tired I guess," he said, placing his hand on her back to usher her into the elevator before him as it opened in front of them.

"Okay," she responded, although her voice reflected that she was, nonetheless, confused about his silence. The two of them pressed the buttons to their respective floors and rode up in silence. Just as the doors opened up to Derek's floor, she touched his arm and asked him, "We still on for lunch?"

"Of course," he said, smiling, before stepping off the elevator. "See you then."

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At about the same time Derek and Addison arrived at the hospital, George and Meredith got ready for rounds in the locker room, waiting for Doctor Bailey to come for them. When she did, she didn't yell at them to hurry, she just looked at both of them and walked up to Meredith.

"So, how is Izzie holding up?" she asked.

"Not to good," Meredith answered her, "Alex is the only one that she'll let near her, he's the only one she'll acknowledge. That's actually why he's not here, some one had to stay with her."

George just sat on the bench between them listening, shaking his head, still not completely comfortable with having come into work that morning, but he knew Izzie was in good hands.

"No, that's alright, I understand. Tell him he can take a few days off to help out Izzie."

"Thanks," Meredith said.

"_But_," Dr. Bailey continued, turning into the Bailey then knew, "That means that you two are going to have to pull a lot of extra weight around here. Christina is taking the day to be with Burke, so I'm down three interns. I don't want you two slaking off. Understood?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," George said, standing up.

"Alright then, lets move people, we're burning daylight," she said, already heading out the door. Meredith slammed her locker shut and followed Bailey, George following her. Suddenly, Bailey stopped abruptly, causing them to both bump into each other, Bailey just gave them a look, "Before I forget. Sometime today go downstairs and get your yearly health exams done. Hospital policy, it's just routine blood tests, inoculation updates and boosters, stuff like that. Get it done quick and get it done _today_. Don't forget!"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey," George said, starting to walk off in the opposite direction that Meredith and Bailey were already heading.

"O' Malley, where do you think you're going?" Dr. Bailey called out after him when she noticed his absence.

George stopped and turned around sharply, slightly confused. He gestured with his hands as he spoke, "I was... I was going to get the test done."

"_AFTER_ rounds," Bailey said.

"Oh, right. Of course," George said, heading back to them.

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Addison got off the elevator and tried to ignore and forget the way that her husband had been acting since the night before, she couldn't get over the idea that his behavior had to do something with Meredith Grey. Maybe she was just being paranoid, maybe she was just overly worried about her marriage with Derek, whatever it was, she had to ignore it for the time being. Besides, she had already confronted Meredith about her worries, she should have nothing to worry about, so she just concentrated on her work. She walked down to the main nurses station and began looking over her patients charts, where she was informed that she had a potential new patient waiting.

"Really, who?" Addison asked, after the nurse told her.

"A woman in her early 40s. Seams she heard about you and her work, Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd, and how you are supposed to be the best in you field, she was even planning on visiting you at your practice in New York. She heard you were now in town and wants to see if you can give her some information, hopefully schedule a surgery."

"What kind of surgery is she looking into having?" Addison asked, gathering all her files, getting ready to leave.

"Tubaligation reversal," the nurse told Addison, handing her the file, "She's waiting for you in the lobby, her name is Kelly Gray."

Addison nodded, trying not to show reaction to the name, so much for trying to forget her worries. She smiled as she took the file and made her way to the lobby.

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Right before one in the afternoon, before George and Christina joined her for lunch, Meredith took a few minutes to head into the lab to get her test over with. She hatted needles, which was weird as she was a doctor, but truth was they didn't make her queasy or scared, she just didn't like being pricked with one, but then again, who does. As she walked into the lab, she noticed that there were three other interns and one nurse in line in front of her. She sighed and rested against the wall and waited for her turn. About fifteen minutes later, not to mention a few needle pricks later as well, she was free to go. "You should get a copy of the results in a few weeks or so, unless there's something to worry about, in which case we'll call you in sooner," the man taking her blood informed her.

"Okay," she said, and made her way through the slightly larger line that had gathered. Meredith came out of the room still trying to properly place the band- aid on her arm, from where they had taken some blood. She was so preoccupied that she physically bumped square into Derek on his way in to get his test done.

"Meredith," he said, touching her arm slightly as he got over their collision.

Only she barely even acknowledged his existence, "Excuse me," she said as she quickly zipped by him to continue her day. He let out a soft sigh before going into the room.

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TBC...

Okay, I know it's getting off to a slow start, but trust me the action is going to start soon. Nonetheless, I hope you like this chapter, I know it's kind of all over the place, but its important for the story later on. I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with it though, like i said last time, I had been putting off writing this chapter (and subsequently the next one), but I guess it serves its purpose. I'll get started on writing the next one and then upload what I already have written. But please let me know if anyone is reading this. PLEASE REVIEW 0)


	4. What Have I Done?

Yay, I can't believe people are actually reading this, it makes me so happy! Cuz you know, Im not a writer, I just write, hehe. But, yeah, hope you're enjoying this little story of mine.

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**Chapter 4: What Have I done?**

...Weeks Later...

_What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?_

That mantra kept repeating itself over and over in Meredith's mind, she couldn't stop it, she couldn't replace it with anything else, she couldn't get away from it.

_What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?_

All she could do was close her eyes and shake her head violently from side to side as she paced from one wall only to turn right around and pace to the next, repeating the stride over and over.

_No! No! No! No!_

She felt like she was going to cry, or be sick, or both... probably both. She burst through the door and ran into the bathroom, making a dive for the toilet. But nothing happened, she heaved over the bowl, but nothing happened, nothing came, nothing except tears.

"Oh, God... What have I done?" she whimpered. "...How could I... No... Why?" She tried to control herself, forcing herself to breath, she couldn't risk anyone hearing her or finding her like this. She took a deep breath and used the edge of the sink to help pull herself up off the bathroom floor. She reached out for the faucet and noticed that her hand was shaking terribly. She stopped and took another deep breath before trying again, this time she managed to get the cold water running and quickly splashed it on to her face, washing away any traces of lingering tears. As she dried her face, she took a long look at herself in the mirror, and again all she could do was shake her head, which she then dropped down to stare at her feet. "I'm so sorry," she whispered out loud.

She quickly turned around and opened the door and managed to get into her room without anyone noticing her, she made sure to lock the door, and then leaned up against it, not knowing what to do. She looked around her room from where she was standing and her eyes ultimately landed on a small box she kept on her desk. She walked over to it, and with still shaking hands opened it, inside where a dozen or so various different business cards, the one she wasn't sure she was ready to admit she was looking for was actually looking back up at her. She picked it up with both hands and just stared at it, "Maybe this is the answer," she whispered to herself.

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TBC... I so just wrote this with out even thinking about it, it was so much easier than I had first anticipated. I guess I had just put it off for as long as I needed to to get it right. Anyway, let me know what you think okay? PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. Scared

Hey people! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! Oh, and thanks for pointing out the "complete" thing. I forgot to take that off, remember, I was going to put up all chapters at once but then realized I was missing two key chapters, this one being one of them ) Hehe. This one probably should have just continued at the end of the last one, but I had not idea what else to write when I wrote that, so that's why its here now. Hope that's okay & hope you enjoy!

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Meredith picked up her cell phone and began to dial the numbers on the business card slowly, her hands still somewhat trembling as she brought it up to her ear. It rang once... twice... "Hello, King County--" she hung up, slamming the phone down on the desk in a fury at the sound of the woman's voice on the other end.

_I can't._ She said to herself, backing away from the desk, _I can't do it._

Just then the sharp sounds of knocking made her turn around sharply to stare at her door, the noise causing her to yelp out loud in surprise. "Meredith? You ready, we're going to be late?" It was George. _Work,_ she reminded herself, _You have to get ready for work._

"Yeah. I just need a few more minutes," she said, snapping back into reality, looking around the floor of her room for her comfortable shoes, "I'll meet you downstairs."

"Okay," came George's response, his voice muffled by the wood of the door. She quickly changed into fresh clothes and sat on the side of her bed and placed the shoes on her feet before standing up to get a good look at herself in the mirror. She ran a hand through her hair, straightening it up as best she could, and made sure all the traces of tears were gone. She looked decent enough, considering the morning she had just had, she told herself. She stared at her reflection looking back at her a while longer, she looked fine, but she saw fear in her own eyes, a weird kind of condescending fear. She shook her head and grabbed her purse as she headed out the door.

George was already in the car ready to go when she got downstairs, she got in the passenger seat and smiled at him, "Sorry, kinda overslept," she lied, afraid he would be able to tell that something was wrong, that something was different, that something was off with her... but she was a good lier sometimes.

He smiled back, oblivious to the ordeal that was waging war inside her, "Not a problem," he said as he backed out of the driveway and made way for Seattle Grace.

They managed to arrive in time for rounds and got new assignments from Bailey. She was assigned to help out a Dr. Mitchell, Burke's temporary replacement, George got assigned to Addison. Meredith let out a small sigh of relief that, yet again, she had been saved from having to be Addison's intern, or Derek's for that matter. She had purposefully been ignoring him since the night of prom, and well, she couldn't handle being Addison's intern, that was just to weird for her after what had happened that night. Meredith was glad for work away from them, it was a nice distraction, it was something she could deal with, it allowed her to forget her troubles. She happily took the order from Bailey, and got her 'ass down to cardio.'

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Upstairs, Addison was talking with her new patient, Kelly Gray, while she waited for her intern. About a month ago, Kelly had come in hoping Addison would perform a tubaligation reversal on her, and even though Addison had been a little hesitant at first, she agreed after she was convinced that Kelly was a good candidate for the surgery.

"Well, the surgery shouldn't take to long, about an hour and a half or so and you won't have to hang around here to long after we're done," Addison explained, "You'll be sore for a few days, but you should be back to your normal daily routine in about a week or two. Do you want me to explain how the procedure works again?"

Kelly sat up a bit in her hospital bed, as George walked into the room, "No offense Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd, but I've been over the specifics of this surgery for the last three years, gathering research and information, I think I know and understand it inside and out... probably as much as you do," Kelly said.

"Well, I don't know about that," Addison said smiling at Kelly.

George smiled slightly too and walked up to Addison, handing her the final set of lab results he had just picked up. "Yeah, well, probably not. I'm just eager to get it done. I thought I'd had my last child six years ago, but that was before the divorce, now I'm remarried and my husband and I want to try to have a child of our own," Kelly said.

"Well, I'm sure I don't have to explain the risks of pregnancy for someone your age, but they are still relatively low in your case. Besides, you do have a pretty good shot of getting pregnant rather quickly after the procedure. Everyone varies, of course, considering each individual procedure and patient, but I wouldn't be surprised if you had a child in as little as two years, including pregnancy time."

"That's great."

"Okay. Well, lets just see if everything checks out here on last time," Addison said, reading over the file that she had just received. She nodded along, content with all the numbers she was seeing, then she came across something she wasn't expecting. Kelly noticed the look on Addison's face.

"Is everything okay?" Kelly asked.

"Umm..." Addison said, _That's weird,_ she thought, _How can she have a positive pregnancy result?_ She scanned the document again and her face changed once again, from medical confusion, to just plain confusion with a slight twinge of fear.

"Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd?" George asked.

"Is something wrong? You're kind of freaking me out." Kelly chimed in.

Addison snapped out of it quickly, and chuckled a bit, "No. Nothings wrong. Lab tests said you were pregnant, and that through me off, but the tech guy's gave Dr. O' Malley here the wrong file. Similar last name mix up is all, nothing to worry about. I'm going to get the correct results."

George took a step to take the file from her, "I'll do it."

"No, that's okay, I'll go. Give them an earful, you know," she chuckled again, "You stay here and prep Mrs. Gray for surgery. Mrs. Gray, this is Dr. George O' Malley, he'll be scrubbing in on your surgery today."

Addison walked out of the room and walk down the hallway a bit and rested against a wall away from the moving foot traffic and looked at the document she was holding again. _It can't be, I'm just over reacting. This doesn't mean anything._ But her thoughts didn't stop her from taking the paper from the file, folding it up and putting it in her coat pocket. She closed the file folder and made her way up to the results desk and informed them they had given her an empty file, telling them to be more careful next time.

"Hey," said a voice behind her, she turned around and saw Derek standing there smiling at her.

"Hi," she said, slightly shocked at his presence.

He noticed, "What's with the look?"

"Oh, nothing. You just startled me," she said, then changing the subject, tugged at the earphones of his ipod hanging over his shoulders, "Do you ever turn this off?"

"It keeps me company," he said, grinning, "Besides, it is off. So what are you doing, picking up results?"

"Yeah," she answered, once again composed, yet still clutching the paper in her pocket, "You?"

"Dropping off," he said, as the tech handed Addison the correct lab results.

"Sorry," he said.

"Not a problem," she said taking them and starting to walk away.

"Sorry for what?" asked Derek, walking along with her.

"Nothing, just a small mix up."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll see you later," he said with a smile on his face.

"Yeah," she said, as he walked away, letting her grip relax around the paper in her pocket, _I'm just over reacting._

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TCB... so whatcha think? Good? You liking it? Let me know. Hang out for the rest, cuz, in my opinion, it gets better )

Oh yeah, I know nothing about medicine, I just googled tubaligation and clicked one of the first results for basic info for the fic! )


	6. Stairwell Converssation

Okay.. I was looking through my files and I saw that the next chapter was fairly short so I'm putting it up even though I just added chapter five. The next few chapters are slightly longer. Anyways hope you enjoy. )

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**Chapter 6- Stairwell Conversation**

Derek was busy reading a file coming down the stairs while listening to his ipod, not paying much attention to his surroundings. Meredith opened one of the stairwell doors and begun to climb up the stairs, but as she rounded the corner of a flight of stairs she saw Derek and quickly turned around to go back down, the quick motion caught Derek's eye and he quickly pulled the earphones out of his ears and ran down the stairs to catch up with her, "Meredith," he said and he reached her and grabbed her by the elbow.

She stopped at his touch and just looked down at his hand on her arm, hoping that she wouldn't start shaking again, "Dr. Shepherd, let go."

It still crushed him to hear her refer to him as "Dr. Shepherd," and he knew that it reflected in his eyes, but he let her go nonetheless. "So that's it, you're just going to ignore me forever? Pretend nothing ever happened?" He said. He had been wanting to talk to her for over a month now, he knew that they needed to talk. He had even planed how he was going to phrase his words, but after she kept ignoring him for so long, and now finally getting the chance to talk, it just came out. She tried to get passed him, but he placed his body in front of hers, placing his hand on the railing, essentially blocking her in, "You can't just run away," he said.

"Please step out of the way, Dr. Shepherd," she wanted to get away, get back to work where her pain and fear could be pushed to the back of her mind, forgotten if only for a few hours. If she stayed here with him on the stairs she knew she would start freaking out again.

"No," he said, knowing that the longer she avoided him, the angrier he was going to get, but he was able to hold it together and keep his voice down for the time being, "I will not get out of the way, not until you talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," she finally said.

"So you are just going to keep lying to yourself and running away, pretending that nothing happened that night?" he said.

She looked up at him, "I'm not lying to myself," she paused, and then continued, "Or to you. I know perfectly well what happened that night. A mistake, just another one to add to the books. That's it, nothing more. I'm not ignoring what happened, I've just decided to move on, I don't want to look back anymore. I'm putting it behind me, Derek, and so should you," she managed to say without her voice wavering or failing her.

"Fine," he said, although not at all convincing himself, but he continued more forcefully, getting close to her face, "But that still doesn't give you the right to just pretend that I don't exist, ignoring me all day. I'm still your boss, and while at Seattle Grace you are to remain professional."

"Please step aside now, Dr. Shepherd, I have patients waiting."

He knew that was as far as that stairwell conversation was going to go, so he stepped aside and watched her go out the door.

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TBC... as always let me know what you think, so please review!


	7. The Road Leading to the Emerald City Bar

Hi everyone! Thank you soooo much for reviewing, Im glad that you like it so far. Like I said before, that means a lot to me! Oh, someone who reviewed said, "McBitch" LOL! That's too funny, unless you're referring to me, in which case its not, but if you're referring to Addison, please, be my guest! LOL (yeah, I don't like her one bit! hehe). Anyway, here is the next installment, it's slightly longer than the previous chapters and I kinda like this one, so please let me know what you think, okay? Enjoy!

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**Chapter 7- The Road Leading to the Emerald City Bar**

Derek walked up to his trailer and let out a big sigh as he opened the door and stepped inside. He had had a really long and exhausting day, all he wanted to do was just get in bed and get a good eight hours of sleep. He walked in and saw Addison sitting on the side of the bed. "Hey," he said with a smile, as was their usual greeting when he arrived home from work after she did.

"Hey," she responded with a glance in his direction, her voice sounding distant.

He noticed and stopped as he was hanging up his coat, "What's wrong?" he asked.

She contemplated whether or not to tell him at that moment, but it was driving her crazy not to know. She needed to finally lay out everything on the table and take a good long look at their relationship. "Derek, I think we need to talk."

The statement caught him completely by surprise, he thought that she had just had a bad day at work, but the tone in those words told him it was something serious, something bad.

"What? What is it?" he said as he walked up to the bed and sat down next to her.

"Are we okay, Derek?"

He was starting to get more and more confused, "What do you mean, of course we're okay," he said reaching out his hand and placing it on her back, he thought he felt her flinch.

"I mean, I know that we have been working hard on our relationship for a while now, and that we are able to talk things out now, and all that, but..." she trailed off.

"But what?" he said, taking his hand away.

She took a deep breath, "But sometimes, I can't help but feel that you are not completely committed to this marriage."

He couldn't say that he was surprised, but it still caught him off guard, "Of course, I'm committed. Like you said, we've been working on it, I thought we were making progress, that we were happy with each other."

"I thought so too, but, there are times when you are just so very distant and closed off. It's hard to know what's going on with you when you don't open up...," she paused again, getting ready so speak what was really on her mind, "And, well, what bothers me the most sometimes is... is the way that I sometimes still see you stare at Meredith Grey."

"So this all goes back to Meredith," he said, sighing, he knew she was right, but still. "Look, Addison, I am committed to this relationship, but you have to understand that what I had with Meredith a year ago was more than just a small fling, it wasn't just revenge towards you, I really did love her. Understand that there are still moments where I think about her and what we had, and sometimes those emotions are extremely hard to get away from. I admit, that at times I can get lost in my own memories, especially when I see her at work and with her new life, knowing that everything we had ended so abruptly." He paused to take a moment, remembering what Meredith had said about moving on, he glanced at Addison, and looked her in the eyes for the first time since he sat down, "But I can promise you that I am trying to get passed all that, to stay committed to this marriage, and to you. Please believe me when I say I'm sorry if I hurt you or your feelings in any way."

Addison turned around and stared at Derek for a few seconds, she wanted to believe him, she really did, but still something was not sitting right with her, as Derek had said, those emotions were hard to get away from, and she worried that those emotions may sometimes get the better of him.

"I know. I know all that, and I understand, but sometimes it's still hard for me. It's hard because I worry that sometimes, I don't know, that your emotions may run to deep, that you may act on them."

"I can understand that, " he said as he stared at his hands, _If only she knew,_ he thought.

"There is something that I have to ask you though," he heard her say after a few, seconds with a little more confidence and bravery in her voice, "and I need an honest answer from you," she said turning to him.

"What?" he asked tentatively.

Addison took a deep breath, and waited a moment, trying to compose herself, "Are you still sleeping with her?" she asked in one quick breath, her voice obviously shaking.

He sat motionless for a second, scared that she knew, not wanting to tell her the truth, but not wanting to lie to her at the same time. "What's bringing up all these questions all of a sudden, you know that we are okay?" he asked, avoiding the question all together, trying to sound shocked that she would accuse him of such a thing.

"I may just be jumping to conclusions," she said, taking out the piece of paper she took from work from under her pillow where she had hidden it as she heard him walk through the door, " I want to believe that I am, that I'm just over reacting, because I must be, but, Derek, tell me."

"What's that paper?"

"Test results."

"Test results of what," he asked taking as she handed it to him.

"Blood test results," she said. Derek was already reading the paper, automatically recognizing the printout from the hospital. He scanned over them quickly, and found them to be typical blood results for someone who would be Addison's patient. Normal cell count numbers, hormone and chemical levels, positive pregnancy results, all normal and typical. That is until he saw the name printed up top: MEREDITH GREY. He quickly snapped his head up from the paper and looked at Addison.

"My patients blood results were mixed up with Meredith's yearly results," she said quickly, before Derek thought something horrible, like that she was spying on Meredith.

"Wait, a minute," he said realizing what Addison was implying, "All the questions... you think... you think that Meredith and I are... that I'm this baby's father?" He managed to stammer out while pointing at the paper in his hand. He found himself in complete and utter shock, there were so many emotions running through him, that he didn't even know where to start.

"Derek, I just have to know if you are still committed to her in some way."

"No," he said defiantly, "No, Addison, I am not this baby's father," all the true possibilities already running through his mind. "I can' t believe that you would actually think that I would go off and cheat on you after all we've been though, after we've been trying so hard, and considering the reason that we have problems in the first place." He knew he was essentially lying to her, but somehow he couldn't get passed the anger and the shock to register that. He was already pacing the small room in the trailer, clearly upset. "I can't believe that you don't trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you, I just had to know. I needed to be sure. I'm sorry." He folded the paper and put it in his pocket, grabbed his coat and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" she called after him.

"I don't know, but I can't stay here, I can't look at you right now," was all he said before the door shut behind him.

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TBC... hehe. So, what do you think? Please let me know, I love reviews!


	8. Truth Be Told

Hola people! Glad to see that there is people interested in this little story of mine! Yay! ;) I've said it over and over, but it means a lot to me that people are reading. So yeah, I love reading your reviews they always make me smile. Oh, and trust me, its okay if you are addicted and hooked on this story, that means I'm doing a good job! LOL. And again, I got to say that that "McBitch" thing still makes me laugh... I just call her a (children: language ahead, hehe) whore! A very evil whore, lol.

"Oh Derek, you naughty boy. Either he is a real brainless brain surgeon or he is doing a good job at covering his tracks. Hmm, makes you wonder, doesn't it?" Yes. Yes, it does make you wonder, doesn't it? ;) Yeah, so Derek is lying about having slept w/ Meredith... whatever, LOL! ;)

Anyway, here is the next installment, I think this is the longest chapter to date, yay!. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 8- Truth Be Told**

Derek got into his truck and just started to drive around aimlessly, not knowing where to go, only knowing that he needed time to think things over. He had just lied to his wife. He just found out that Meredith was pregnant. His wife didn't trust him, and with good reason.

There were so many emotions and scenarios running though his head that he couldn't keep them straight. But he found himself coming back to the same thought; Meredith was pregnant. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what that meant. What did it mean? Did it mean that she really had moved on, like she had said? That she had a new life? That she was having a new life with the vet, and now they were going to have a baby together? Was it even the vet's? What if it was his? It very well could be his, everything did go back to that one night. What had they done? How could he jeopardize everything that way? And now Meredith didn't want anything to do with him anymore and his wife could very well leave him if this baby turned out to be his. What if it was his? What would he do? He couldn't think straight, there were to many questions and what if's. He signed loudly to himself, the sound of it echoing in the small cabin of the truck.

Without even realizing it, he found himself parking his car just outside of Joe's Bar. He didn't even realize he had driven into town, towards the hospital, but he suddenly realized that he did indeed need a drink. He walked inside and saw many familiar faces from the hospital there, though none he knew personally. He took a seat at the bar and Joe walked over to him, "Hey, Doc. What can I get for you, the usual?"

"Umm.. yeah. Thanks," Derek answered. When Joe came over to him with his drink he took it with out looking at him and just began to drink it pensively, trying to straighten out his thoughts. He drowned out all the random and expected late night bar noise out of his head and just sat there alone, trying to drown his worries and his sorrows in his glass as well. After an hour or so and a few refills later, Joe came over and asked if he wanted another, Derek looked down into his empty glass and then at the clock, just after midnight, it wasn't that late yet, he thought. "No. I think I'm good." he said as he stood up off the bar stool and laid out the appropriate bills on the counter top, "'Night, Joe."

"'Night, Dr. Shepherd."

This time as Derek got back into his truck, he knew exactly were he was going, whether of not it was a good idea, he wasn't sure, but he started the ignition and began to drive. He soon found himself parked outside of Meredith's house. He stayed in the truck for about ten minutes taping his hands on the steering wheel and then another ten just leaning up against his truck staring at the house, trying to figure out what he was going to do or say, trying to control his emotions. Before he knew it he was walking up the steps to her house and lifting his arm to knock on the door. But he caught himself, fear creeping into his mind.

_What am I even doing here? _he thought _What am I even going to say?_

Before he could make up his mind about whether leaving or staying the door in front of him swung open, and he was face to face with Meredith. He quickly lowered his hand. She looked tired and drowsy, and she had a blanket thrown across her shoulders reminding him of their first night together. He suddenly worried that he had woken her.

"Did I wake you?" He said sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in a surprised yet almost frightful tone, ignoring his attempt at decency.

"I need to talk to you," he said.

"There's nothing for us to talk about," she said, just seeing him made her want to cry, so she looked away and started to close the door, but he stopped it with his hand just before it completely closed on him. "Let go," She said softly, sounding completely exhausted.

"I need to talk to you," he repeated.

She was able to smell the faint sent of alcohol on his breath, "You're drunk."

"No. I'm not," he said as he managed to wedge himself through the small opening in the door, "Please, we need to talk."

She lowered her head and shut the door, completely giving up, "About what?"

He walked in a few steps into the foyer but stopped when he took notice of all the silence in the house, "Are Stevens and O'Malley here?"

"No," she stated simply, "Look, Derek, I really don't feel like talking to you right now. You shouldn't even be here, please, just go home," she said as she headed back to open the door.

"I can't. I can't go home, not until we talk things out first."

"Derek, we've been over this, there is nothing for us to talk about. You've been drinking, just... just go home."

"No," he said defiantly, standing there looking at her, hands in his pockets.

"Why not?"

"Because there _is_ something for us to talk about. There's lots for us to talk about," he couldn't believe that he was saying what he was saying and doing what he was doing, maybe he was drunk.

"The past is in the past, Derek, let it be."

"I'm not here to talk about the past, not exactly anyway."

Meredith was a little confused, and so dared the next question, "Then what do you want to talk about?"

He took a deep breath, "Is it true what you said before, that you've moved on?"

She turned away, frustrated, "Go home."

"Just answer me, have you moved on and started a new life? Are you really in love with this Finn guy? Just tell me."

"Why do you care?" She was beginning to get angry at him.

"Because I need to know."

"What, Derek? What? You keep talking in these cryptic circles. What! What do you want from me?"

"The truth."

"What truth?"

Maybe the drinks were messing with him, but he couldn't even find the right words to say it, there was just no way to properly come out and say it. Besides that, he was scared. He knew this was hardly the right way to do it, but the thought of not knowing, of being in doubt... he couldn't live that way, he needed to know. He needed to know _now._ So badly so that he could hardly think in terms of rationality. He took out the crumpled piece of paper from his coat pocket and handed it to her. She took it from him angrily and unfolded it rapidly, staring Derek down. She wondered what the paper could possibly be, but as she began to read it, her expression changed and her eyes went wide. When Derek saw her face, he realized that she had read over the entire document, so he asked in the same quick breath manner that Addison had asked him, "Am I the father?"

Meredith could feel her body begin to tremble and she could feel her knees and legs on the brink of giving out on her as she stared at the printout and at Derek. Her heart was pounding so loudly she wouldn't be surprised if Derek could hear it. She couldn't believe what was happening. She had forgotten about the yearly test, forgot that they had been taken before she even knew, and now, he knew. He knew. He knew. That was all that was going through her head. He Knew. She was scared out of her mind, but then fear quickly turned into rage. _How_ did he know? She was shocked beyond belief and she found it difficult to form words, but when she finally did they were soft, softer than she would have expected or wanted, "How did you get this?"

"Meredith--"

She cut him off, getting angrier, "How did you get this? Why do you have this? Have you been spying on me?"

"No, I haven't--"

"Then why do you have this, Derek, why?" she couldn't help herself from screaming at him.

"It's not important."

"Yes, it is! Why the hell to you have my medical records?"

"There was a mix up in the hospital and your blood test were mixed up with one of Addison's patients," he knew it was best not to lie to her, he didn't want to make things worse.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, she took a few steps away from him, her hand on her forehead as she was trying to make sense of everything that was happening to her, "So you've both been spying on me, " she whispered, the realization of the fact that this meant Addison knew as well.

"No. No one is spying on you, Meredith. Please." He begged her with his eyes for an answer.

She shook her head, she couldn't take any of this right now, "Get out of my house," she said heading for the door once again, her voice rising again, "Just get out of my house, you have no right coming in here like this, now leave!"

Now he was starting to get angry, he walked over to her and forced her to face him, grabbing her arm, forcing her hand off of the doorknob and slamming the door shut again, "I told you, I'm not leaving. Not until I get an answer. Now, please, just tell me, is it true, are you pregnant? And don't lie to me, the paper's right there."

She didn't look at him, "The papers there," she repeated softly not really knowing why, "I don't own you any explanation."

"You do if it's mine."

All she could do was turn away from him, trying to get away from his gaze and his grasp but he wouldn't let her, she could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes despite her efforts to keep them at bay, she shook her head trying to get away, her tears stinging almost as much as his hold on her.

"Meredith, tell me if this child you are carrying is mine!" he had to know, now more than ever, he had to know, all her body language was telling him it was his, but he had to hear it from her just to make sure. She was crying now, she couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and upon seeing her tears Derek relaxed his grip and his voice, "Please, Meredith, just tell me."

"No," she finally said through her tears, but not in answer to his questions, just no. No, this could not be happening; no, she couldn't do this; no, she didn't want to tell him, just no...

Derek felt his heart drop, it wasn't the answer he was expecting to hear. It should have made him happy, but it didn't, and he realized that that wasn't what he wanted to hear and he only realized that upon hearing the answer. He let go of her arms and dropped his head into his chest, "The vet's then..."

"No," she continued to whisper.

Derek was now surprised and confused, and he didn't know what to think anymore. He felt the strong desire to walk out the door and leave, wanting to deal with things at a different time, feeling lost now more than ever, so out of place, so embarrassed for having done what he had done. But he knew better than to just walk away, and so somehow, despite himself, he found himself fixed to where he was standing, "What?" he heard himself say.

Meredith stood away from Derek, wiping away her tears, keeping her blanket wrapped tight and protectively around herself. She finally picked up her head and looked at Derek in the eyes for the first time that entire night, "You came here wanting the truth? Fine. Yes. Yes, to everything. Yes to the pregnancy; Yes, to the baby; Yes, to you're the father... yes, to... Yes to I still love you!" She said almost yelling out the words in his face, trying hard to get through them, "but you're to late, to late for everything..." she trailed out softly.

Derek saw her body language change dramatically at the end there, he heard the extreme sadness in her voice. She was sobbing now, and Derek could tell that her tears had changed from those of anger to those of sadness, and he softened up his demeanor even though he still didn't quite understand everything that was going on, "Why am I late?" She only continued to cry, so he once again walked up to her and held her upper arms in his hands, "Talk to me," he whispered to her, feeling pangs of guilt and sadness for making her cry like this.

She gave in to him, scared to the bone, but it felt good to cry, she had to talk about it, she knew now that she had to, "I'm not pregnant... not anymore, not since this afternoon."

Right away Derek understood, he didn't need anymore explanation, she had terminated the pregnancy. He understood it all now, and this time his heart not only dropped, but it broke as well, "Oh, Meredith..." he said as he went in to hug her, all the anger and rage of the night already disappearing, but she pushed him away.

"Please, let me be alone..."

"You shouldn't be alone right now," he said.

"I can't look at you," she whispered, "It's all just to hard." Despite herself she found herself falling into his embrace, wanting the protection and the warmth he was offering. She cried into his chest.

"I know. Trust me, I know," he said, as he tried to sooth her crying. He could feel that she was weak so he walked her over to her couch and sat her down, but she wouldn't let go of him, and he wasn't about to let her go. Not now.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he whispered into her ear.

"I didn't know what else to do."

"Shhh..." he said, about to cry himself.

"I was trying to protect you," she said, "I know that you are trying to patch things up with your wife, that you've been trying hard to make it work... and I knew that this... this would have only ruin your life. Your relationship with her, your career. I... I just care to much about you to hurt you, to let that happen. Please... Derek, please forgive me."

Now he was crying, he took her face in his hands and made her look at him, "It's okay. I just wish you would have talked to me first. You should have came to me, you shouldn't have had to go through all this alone. We could have talked and I would have supported whatever decision you would have made, I hope you know that. I just love you to much, I don't want to see you in this pain."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in his or her own thoughts, each dealing with their own pain and sorrow, each letting their tears fall freely with out any indignation.

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TBC... Hehe. Wow that was long!

Anyways... Yeah, so? Whatcha think? Let me know, okay? I really REALLY what to know what you guys think about this particular chapter, cuz I really like this one, so yeah, comment, comment comment! ;) hehe.

Oh, and I start class on Thursday, so hopefully I can get to the rest of this fic in a timely manner.


	9. And So It Begins

Hey guys, glad to hear that you liked the previous chapter, yay! Cuz, I liked it too, hehe. So yeah, I think that was the longest chapter that there is going to be, there's another fairly long one, but the rest are just normal-ish length. I like this chapter too, so let me know what you think, okay. Don't forget, LOL.

Oh and some one said this on the reviews:_ It's a good idea, and you write well, but you should know that if she had the blood tests the day after prom, they would NOT show that she was pregnant. Conception doesn't occur until a couple days after intercourse, plus it still takes another week or so until pregnancy hormones start being secreted. The earliest pregnancy can be detected is a couple days after a missed period, ovulation is almost a week before you menstruate. _Oh, how I was wishing that wouldn't come up, LOL. Seriously, I was thinking "don't let anyone pick up on it! don't let anyone pick up on that!" LOL. I know I said I didn't know much about medicine, but I did now that. Here's my defense: I heard Shonda Rhimes say something like this once, so I am too: Im taking medical liberty to progress the story along, LOL.

Anyway, read on, hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 9- And So It Begins**

They sat like that ignoring all time and space besides themselves, their bodies intertwined in comfort, stretched out on the couch. Meredith continued to sob, and Derek let his own silent tears fall. He knew this was probably the first time that she was allowing herself to grieve, and he wasn't going to let her go through it alone. He held her and rocked her, trying to deal not only with her emotions, but with his as well. After a long while, her tears stopped flooding her, and she looked up from where she rested her head on Derek's chest and looked at him, noticing his tears. She reached up with her hand and touched his check, "Derek?"

He tried to smile, but he failed. He stared into her eyes, and brushed some of her hair out of her eyes. "Don't worry about me," he whispered.

"How can I not. Tell me what you are feeling, don't hold back, please."

"I'm not angry, if that's what you think. Maybe a little disappointed, but I'm just sad," he saw her try to say something and he stopped her with his hand, "Don't... don't say you're sorry. It's just that, well... lets just say that this isn't the first time that I've lost a child."

Meredith felt her heart go out to him, she had no idea that he had had a child before. Neither he nor Addison had ever let on that they had ever had children, but then again if their child had died, it's not something they would want to talk openly about, "Oh, my God, Derek, I'm so sorry."

He shock his head, he didn't want her to feel responsible or anything like that, so he decided to tell her what had happened, "Back in New York, not long after we got married, Addison and I tried to have a baby... long before our problems started. She knew I loved kids, and that I always wanted to have one, and she did too. We tried for a while without any luck, then just before we went to a specialist, she got pregnant. I can't tell you how happy I was that I was going to be a father." He stopped, and looked down at her, hoping the story wasn't to much at the moment, but he saw that she was listening intently, so he continued, "about three or four months in, there were many complications. Addison lost the baby. We we're both crushed, devastated. In all our eleven years together she never talked much about it, and she never wanted to try again. That's when I started to become... detached and withdrawn, then Mark came along, and well, you know the rest. I hadn't thought much about that until tonight, I tried to put it behind me, leave it all behind in New York so that I could forget, so that the pain would go away..."

He trailed off consumed in this thoughts once more, Meredith understood the pain that he was talking about, she never thought that it would have had such a strong affect on her, but it did, and she didn't know how to deal with it. "Does the pain ever go away?" she asked him.

He closed his eyes for a moment and shock his head, "No," he whispered, "I'm sorry, it doesn't go away." At that she felt her tears once more, and rested her head back on his chest. Derek saw her tears even though she tried to hide them from him, he stroked the top of her head as he continued, beginning to understand that her decision to terminate the pregnancy was not one that she had entirely felt comfortable with, it wasn't something she had wanted to do, "It doesn't go away, I don't think it's supposed to. But it does get easier to deal with as time goes by. And I'm not going to let you go though it alone, okay? I'm hear for you, you know that, no matter what I will always be here for you."

"I know," she sniffed. They sat in silence again, they hadn't been that close in a long time, and even though Addison had come up in their talk, she was far from Derek's mind. All his concerns were centered around Meredith. He noticed that she had become silent and had stopped crying, he tried to look at her face, thinking that maybe she had fallen asleep, but he was in an awkward position on the couch that didn't allow him to get a good look at her.

"You okay?" he whispered, incase she was a sleep.

"I'm just tired," she answered softly.

"Do you want me to take you to your bed?" he asked.

"I'd rather stay here like this... if that's okay with you?" she said, feeling comfortable and safe, feeling that just maybe she could finally fall sleep if he stayed with her, incase she should need him.

"Of course it's okay," he said, adjusting his hold on her, he'd stay as long as she'd allow him to. He continued to play with her hair, hoping that she would fall asleep so that she could get some much needed rest. As his hand passed along her forehead, he stopped. He noticed that she was awfully warm, she definitely had a fever, and she was clutching the blanket pretty close to herself. "Meredith?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you cold?"

"A little, it's okay though."

"No, I think you may have a fever," he said.

"The doctors at the clinic said it was normal to develop a slight fever," she answered him. He moved her slightly trying to get a good look at her, going into doctor mode. He knelt down on the floor next to the low couch and gave her a quick once over, he didn't like what he saw. He looked at her eyes and they were glazed over and he knew that she wasn't focusing correctly on him, he could also see little beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Her fever was definitely high, to high.

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TBC... So what do you think? What do you think about Derek's past? ;)

Please Review! Oh, the next chapter may not be added as quickly as the previous ones have been because I'm going to be changing it up a bit and I need to plan it out, also school starts tomorrow and eppy #2 tomorrow too! Don't forget that people!

Oh, and don't be mad at the whole abortion thing, i just used it cuz it's what's best for the story and (while we're on that note) just FYI: the views represented in this fic do not necessarily represent the views of the writer ;) hehe, kinda felt like it needed the disclaimer. ;0)


	10. Complications

Hola, people! So are people still reading this? I really hope so. So yeah, thanks for reviewing, they always make me smile and make me happy. So, please keep 'em coming. Okay, this next part is a little on the short side, but I still hope that you like it. I think it's pretty interesting and its a lead in to the next one (or couple of ones), which I am still tinkering around with, it's kinda hard, I can't quite get it perfect. So anyways... read on!

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"Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital," he said standing up.

"No, really, I'm okay," she said closing her eyes, rolling over on her side practically falling asleep.

He got back down and rustled her back slightly, "Meredith, I'm afraid you could have an infection," he told her as he helped her into a sitting position, "Come on," he said again, taking her arms trying to get her to stand up off the couch.

"Derek, no, please," she pleaded, and he realized that she was scared to go to the hospital, scared of the truth being known. That everyone she knew would find out what she had done. He knew that she couldn't take being the hospitals source of gossip again, he knew what she had gone through with everyone looking, pointing, snickering, and talking about her behind her back, he knew, even if she never told him, he knew. 'That's the intern that's sleeping with Dr. McDreamy', 'the sluty mistress,' he'd heard what they said and he knew that she couldn't go through that again.

"We don't have to go to Seattle Grace, we can go somewhere else. I just want you to get looked at, okay?" he whispered to her.

"Please, don't make me," she said in a small voice, somewhat still in denial over everything that had happened, she didn't want to have to face everything yet, she just wanted to stay on that couch, sleep, and let the world pass her by, wanting to deal with everything at some other time, wanting to forget...

"I know you're afraid," he said softly, taking her hands in his, "I know what you're afraid of, but everything is going to be okay." He didn't want to make her do anything she didn't want to, but the doctor part of him was concerned and he tried to relay that that to her with his eyes, but his look was met with a look of fear and pain. He saw her fear, all of it rushing back to her in a massive tidal wave, all the color draining from her face. "Okay," he said despite his better instincts, rubbing her arm, "It's okay. Come on, lets get you upstairs and into bed."

He gently pulled her to her feet towards him and he noticed that she was a bit shaky so he put his arm around behind her waist and she did the same to his. Slowly, one step at a time, they made their way up the flight of stairs to her room, but about half way up, she lost her balance. Her free arm flailed out in front of her as she tried to find something to grab on to to hold her balance, she found Derek. As soon as he saw her sway he reached out to help her, "Whoa. Easy, easy, you're okay," he said as he held her steady, he knew it was a bad idea to stay, something was wrong. As soon as she regained some of her balance he could feel that she was placing all her weight on him, this was definitely more than her just being tired. "Hang on," he told her as she tried to take another step up the stairs, he bent down and hooked his arm under her knees, picking her up and taking her back downstairs to his truck.

"No," she whispered, shaking in his arms, trying to break free from his arms, "don't."

"You have to, it's okay," he said, knowing she didn't want to go to the hospital.

"No, I don't want anyone to know," she told him. He couldn't help but feel a twinge in his heart at hearing that, but he brushed it off, "I'll have to tell the truth... I don't want you to get in any trouble," she continued. It still surprised him that through everything that she was going through she was still overly concerned for him.

"You don't have to worry about me," he said down to her, "I just want you to be okay, that's all that matters." He made his way across her living room and quickly kicked the door shut behind him as he stepped outside, hardly noticing that at sometime during the night it had begun to rain. He quickly and carefully made his way across the street to where he had parked and gently put her down while he took his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the passenger side door. As soon as he let her down, she leaned up against the side of this truck waiting; wanting to run, to go back into her house, but laking the energy to do anything about it. Besides, deep down, she knew Derek was right in taking her to a hospital.

As he opened the door he turned to usher her in out of the rain, but paused when he saw her, "Meredith?" She didn't say anything, instead just leaned her head back and rested her hand on her stomach, "Meredith, you okay?" he asked her, placing his hand on her shoulder, obviously worried.

She took a deep breath and swallowed, "I feel dizzy," she said. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, offering her what little comfort and strength he could, and he felt her squeeze back, hard.

"It's going to be okay, take a deep breath," he said, and she did, "Good, deep breaths." After a few minutes her dizzy spell subsided and she opened her eyes and looked straight into his, and she saw him smile his crocked little smile at her, "Better?" he asked, and she nodded in response. "C'mon," he said as he eased her into the passenger seat, awkwardly wiping away some of the rain from her face with his jacket sleeve after he fastened her seat belt for her. He quickly closed the door and made his way to the other side of the truck, running a hand through his hair as he stepped into it. A quick glance in Meredith's direction and he saw that she was resting her head up against the window, her eyes once again closed. On the center counsel between them was his cell phone, flashing a little red light indicating he had missed calls, he ignored it and started the engine.

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TBC... So... whatcha think? What's wrong with Meredith? I know! But you don't ;) If you want to find out, hit the review button! ;) hehe.

OFF TOPIC: Loved the episode last night! Did you guys watch? Loved the fact that Meredith didn't choose either Mc (Dreamy or Vet), and is going to date them both, I would of never thought of that! But, I guess that's why I write fan fiction instead of writing for the "Grey's Anatomy" staff, maybe one day, LOL. But, it was a cool episode, I can see that the next few ep's are going to be pretty funny.


	11. Return To Seattle Grace

Hi, guys! Welcome back, LOL. I finally finished this chapter (you get two tonight! yay!)! Okay so this chapter was kinda hard for me to write, so I'm not to sure if I am completely content with it. It was just hard because I had to integrate flashback sequences into the actual flow of the story. But you be the judge. Tell me what you think, okay?

In this chapter _italicized _text indicates a flashback, not thinking (as it did in the past), hope that's okay.

On with the story, enjoy!

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**Chapter 11- Return to Seattle Grace**

He drove straight for Seattle Grace, not knowing any other hospital or clinic where they could go that was close by. He drove across the bridge just as the sun was beginning to ever so slightly peak up above the horizon trying to break through the clouds, he didn't even know that so much time had passed by since he left his own home, it didn't feel like that much time. It almost made him smile to think that time spent with Meredith could slip away so fast and leave him feeling so content, so fulfilled and happy just to be next to her. If only it were under better circumstances. Half way across the bridge Derek heard Meredith's breaths come in fast, short burst, like she was hyperventilating.

_Meredith's shift ended earlier than expected so she took the opportunity to head over to Save-On to pick up a few things that she needed. She walked up and down the toiletries isles picking up some toothpaste and dental floss and a bottle of her favorite shampoo. Then in one of the isles she stopped. She was standing in front of the pregnancy test, she just looked at them for a bit, then kept walking, but something made her stop, turn around, and return to look at the tests. She picked up one of the thin boxes and thought back to prom, remembering her night of passion with Derek. She got to thinking, _I'm only a couple of days late, there's nothing to worry about._.., she told herself... _But we didn't use a condom_... She thought that she was just being ridiculous, but she added the small box to her basket of purchases nonetheless. _

_That night, after dinner, everyone headed to their respective rooms for the night. Meredith sat on the edge of her bed and held the pregnancy test in her hands. She kept turning it over and over, thinking about whether or not to take it. It couldn't be positive, she told herself, it just couldn't. _So why worry?_ she thought. She opened the box and took out the instructions and read them carefully. She swallowed hard and made up her mind, she was going to take it._

_A few minutes later she had her answer... the stick turned blue. She was pregnant. She couldn't believe it. She thought back to the one thing Derek had said that night in the exam room, "What does this mean?" _What does this mean?_ she thought. She paced around her room for pretty much the entire night, until she finally fell on her bed, exhausted, no clearer answer in her mind as to what to do then than when she had started pacing. _

"Meredith. Meredith, It's okay, breath," he said, trying to keep an eye on her and the road all at once. Meredith had kept her eyes closed for most of the drive, but she opened them in time to see that they were headed for Seattle Grace and she began to lose what little control she had been holding onto. "It's okay, relax," he once again took her left hand in his right, running his thumb across it, he could feel that she was very tense, "Relax."

_She woke up that morning, hoping everything had been a dream, one bad dream, that her whole world had not just changed. But then she saw the pregnancy test sitting on her side dresser just where she had left it the night before. _What have I done? _Her head started spinning and she had to rush to the bathroom, she knew it wasn't morning sickness, her emotions where just getting the better of her and manifesting themselves in physical ways. Once on the bathroom floor she remember something... a card... a possible life line. The only thing was, was she going to be able to go through with it? Was she strong enough to do it?_

"I'm not... I can't... Derek... I'm scared," she said in between breaths, "I can't deal with it, this is to much for me, I can't.. I can't deal with all this..." She was thinking everything over in her head, everything from the days events were coming back to her. She had gone to the clinic, blocking out all her actions, doing everything automatically, detached from the world. Now, suddenly, all the images and emotions started flooding her senses, "Derek..."

_"Hello, King County Medical Clinic, how may I help you?"_

_"Umm... Hi. Do... umm... do you perform pregnancy terminations?" she whispered into the receiver._

_"Yes, we do. Would you like to make an appointment."_

_"Yeah. I do. The sooner the better, please."_

_"Alright, I'm just going to be asking you a few routine questions right here over the phone, is that okay?"_

_"Yes," she said, and she noticed that she could barely even hear her own voice as she spoke. The nurse noticed this too, plus the fact that Meredith's voice was shaking and that she kept taking deep breaths before she would answer. So the nurse decided to talk a little more warmly._

_"Okay, is this appointment for yourself?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You're name?"_

_"Meredith Grey."_

_The woman on the other end kept asking her questions about herself and her pregnancy and Meredith just answered methodically with out even thinking, reciting the information as if she was reciting medical information at rounds, she was lost in a daze trying to not cry as she spoke. _

_"Okay, Meredith. That's it for now, when you come in there will still be a few more questions and we are going to run a few tests, okay. Oh, and you will need to talk with one of our consultants... they're kind of like councilors to help you out with questions and any doubts or concerns that--"_

_"I don't need to talk to anyone"_

_"Sorry, it's clinic policy."_

_"Oh, okay."_

_"Alright then, it looks like we have everything we need here for now, and you have your appointment time. Well see you here."_

_"Okay," Meredith said, hanging up the phone, noticing that her hands were shaking again._

_Through out the rest of the day, as she waited for the appointment time to come, she would dial King County repeatedly, either canceling her appointment or re-establishing it. Each time apologizing to whoever it was that would answer the phone, they kept telling her to come in to talk to someone, but each time she said, no, she had made up her mind for sure. She was positive. But she wasn't positive. She wouldn't keep calling if she was positive. When her appointment time finally came she got in her car and drove to the clinic. On the entire ride over she cried. She'd never thought that she would be willing to essentially kill her child... Derek's child. She couldn't believe that she was actually going to do what she was going to do. Without ever telling anyone. But she couldn't tell anyone... she just couldn't. She walked into the clinic and that was it... she became detached from the world..._

"I'm here, It's okay, were almost there, hang on. Just keep breathing, even breaths, okay?" he said squeezing her hand, scared of the way she was acting and hyperventilating, he wanted to pull over, but he wasn't far from the emergency entrance of the hospital now. He heard her talking softly to herself, and he knew she was reliving it and worrying about what would happen inside the hospital, "Okay, were here, try not to worry, okay?."

"My high school friends always said I'd get pregnant at prom... Derek... I'm so sorry... sorry... I'm sorry that you're not going to be a father because of me."

"Oh, Meredith, please don't worry about that, it's okay." He parked his car in the first open spot he found and rushed to her side and started to pick her up out of her seat, trying to use his body to shield her from the rain that had again started to fall.

"...everything is spinning, my vision is so blurry...oh, God..." she whispered, hardly able to speak, "don't tell anyone...don't let anyone know... Derek?..."

_She lied. At the clinic she lied, she said someone had driven her and was waiting for her in her car. But she was alone. She had gone to the same clinic that Christina had been planing to go to a year ago, that's how she had the clinics card in the first place, so she needed a 'person' as well. Thinking it through, she didn't want to but any of her friends, even Christina, definitely not Derek. She ended up putting Joe, knowing that if he did have to come down for any reason, he wouldn't judge her... and most importantly, he wouldn't tell anyone._

_She cried all the way home again. She kept wiping the tears from her eyes trying to clear her vision as she drove herself home. She didn't even notice when she got home, didn't remember opening the front door and sitting on the couch. No one noticed her there, curled up and all alone, not until a few hours later when Alex walked into the house._

_"Hey, you," he said._

_"Hi," she answered, "What are you doing here?"_

_"I've been staying here for the last month, Grey, remember?"_

_"Oh, right... sorry, I'm a little out of it right now."_

_"Okay... well, in any case, I'm here because O' Malley and I are taking Izzie over to my place to watch a movie or something... she needs a change of scenery, you know. Wanna come along?" he asked her._

_"No thanks," she said politely, "I think I just want to stay here."_

_"You okay," Alex asked, concern in his voice._

_"Not really..." she paused, then lied, "I think I'm getting the flu is all."_

_George and Izzie came downstairs just then and Meredith went through the same conversation and lie with them, telling them to go and try to have some fun, that she would be okay. She just wanted them to go away, she wanted so desperately to be alone. Reluctantly, her friends left and as soon as the door closed behind them, her tears once again flowed from her eyes. She cried silently to herself until she heard footsteps and nervous rustling at her front door._

"...Derek..."

"Shhh, don't worry," he said, closing the door and running towards the entrance with Meredith in his arms. He noticed that it was a shift change at the hospital and he saw many personnel coming in and leaving, George among them.

"Morning, Dr. Shep-- Meredith?" he said, surprised at what he saw, "What happened?"

"George, go get a gurney."

As quickly as he could, George ran back inside the hospital and got a gurney, Derek met him half way and gently placed Meredith on it and began to roll her to the elevators. Again, George asked, "What happened?"

Derek looked down at Meredith who had passed out on the gurney, he wasn't going to say anything until he absolutely had to, "Not now, George, get the elevator." George ran ahead a few steps and did as he was told, pushing the up button on the elevator and stood in its doorway keeping it open for Derek.

"What floor?" George asked.

"Fourth," Derek answered. George pushed the number four button and stepped aside as Derek wheeled the gurney passed him, but he was confused, why the fourth floor? Why didn't he just stay down in the ER? George thought about what was on the fourth floor; the largest unit there was OB/GYN, why would he be taking her there.

"How can I help?" George asked.

Derek thought for a moment, "Umm... go see if we have a full medical history or file here at the hospital for Meredith and bring it back up as quickly as you can, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you want me to give it to Dr. Montgomery- Shepherd?" George asked.

"No!" Derek said, realizing for the first time that Addison was the head of OB/GYN, "No, bring it to me!" he said, moving inside the elevator so that he could actually see George as the doors closed. When they did, George ran off slightly confused. Back inside the elevator, Meredith was still unconscience. Derek quickly checked her pulse and eyes again. Then the elevator doors opened, and he wheeled the gurney out, "Can I get some help here?" he yelled out to anyone who would listen.

A nurse came over to him, "Dr. Shepherd? What do you need, we didn't get any call you were bringing up a patient."

"Yeah, I know, I just brought her in... she's an intern here..."

"One of our own, gottcha. What do we got?" she said, as she helped him wheel the gurney into a room.

"Umm, she needs... she has a fever, she was complaining of dizziness and blurred vision, loss of balance, hyperventilating... I want her checked out fully--"

The nurse was slightly confused, she put up her hand and stopped him, "Dr. Shepherd, why did you bring her up here for those symptoms?"

Derek knew he couldn't keep Meredith's secret like she wanted him to, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice even if it was only the three of them in the room, "She had an abortion this morning, she might have an infection, it might have been botched, I don't know."

"Okay," the nurse said understanding, "I'll go get a doctor."

"Thanks," Derek said, suddenly hoping it was still to early for Addison to be in at work. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair, taking a seat on the chair next to Meredith's bed.

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TBC... Wow, that was another long one! And to think it started out really short... Anyway, I ask this every time a chapter ends, so you're probably getting tired of hearing (or is it reading?) this, but, What did you think? Let me know, I love reviews!

So yeah, the flashbacks (which I'm hoping did work out well) came about me thinking that it wasn't quite fair that we got to see how Addison found out about Meredith's pregnancy, and how Derek found out, but not Meredith. So that's where this came about. I actually had the chapter finished and was thinking about starting a new one explaining everything, but I kinda liked the idea of a flashback... so yea. Oh, and yes, I know termination appointments are not done "same day" ( I googled it, hehe) but again, I'm taking medical liberty, hehe. Anyways, Again, hope you liked & please review!


	12. The Worry Begins

Hey guys! Thanks so much for your ever so lovely reviews, you guys rock! Reading reviews always makes me happy! LOL. Hehe. So, yeah, I started school pretty much officially this week so I have lots of work to do ( i have something like 12 bloody books to read! TWELVE! Geez! Seriously, now! LOL). So, I tell you this in case i delay in updating this story, which I really hope that you all are enjoying and continuing to follow. Im going to try to finish this story soon, there's only a few chapters left to upload (which, like always, I'm still tinkering with, so give me time, hehe). Anyway, here's the next chapter, it doesn't really progress the story much, but i though it was important. Please tell me what you think, okay?

On with the show...

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**Chapter 12- The Worry Begins**

George ran through the halls of the hospital, his backpack some what slowing him down. He reached the file room and quickly went up to the technician, "Hey. Can you check and see if there is any sort of medical record on file here for a Meredith Grey. She's a surgical intern here, so, yeah." The technician didn't say anything and just walked back into the room leaving George to wait, tapping his hands on the desk counter, every now and then craning his neck to see if he could see the technician in the room. After a few minutes the technician came back out holding a thin file.

"Here you go, Meredith Grey. Not much in the way of history in there, just basics," he said as he handed George the file.

"Thanks," George said, taking the file and walking away. Christina rounded the corner and saw George right away.

"I thought you were going home, what's this?" she said grabbing the file from his hands.

"Hey!"

"'Meredith Grey'? What are you doing with Meredith's file?" she asked, opening the file.

George quickly snatched the file back, "_Don't_ read her file!"

"Geez, fine. So what are you doing with it anyway?" she said following him down the hall.

"Dr. Shepherd wants it. Somethings up, he brought Meredith in through the ER, she's unconscience," George explained as he hit the elevator button repeatedly, as if that would bring it down faster.

"What do you mean unconscience? What's wrong with her?" Christina said, getting slightly worried.

"He wouldn't tell me, he just said to go get her file and bring it back to him," he said, as both of them got into the empty elevator.

"Wait, why are we going up, I thought you said they were in the ER?"

"He brought her in through the ER, but he took her up to the fourth floor."

"Fourth floor? That's--"

"Yeah, I know," George said, cutting her off. The elevator arrived and they both got out and headed to the main desk to ask where Derek and Meredith were, but Derek appeared almost out of no where and came up to them. George, slightly surprised, handed him the file, "Here you go, but its not a concise history."

"That's okay. Thanks," he said, taking the file and walking away, leaving George and Christina staring at each other with many questions.

"Dr. Shepherd, what's wrong with Meredith?" Christina asked, already following him down the hall to were Meredith's room was.

"Umm, not now, guys, okay," Derek said, trying to ignore them, but knowing he wouldn't be able to for long, he knew it was impossible to keep things from them, they would find out one way or another, she was, after all, their best friend. But it was not his place to tell them, and he wasn't about to betray Meredith's trust.

"You said that already," George said.

Derek stopped suddenly and turned around, and saw the almost scared look on George's face, "Guys, really, not now. Besides there's really not much I can tell you right now anyway, all I can tell you is that she has a really high fever accompanied with dizziness and shortness of breath, plus she lost conscienceness on the way here," he said, choosing his words carefully, not wanting to lie. He turned back around and walked into a room, but before he was completely in, George asked one more question.

"You'll let us know how she's doing, though, right?"

Derek stopped, "Yeah. Of course I will," and with that he disappeared into Meredith's room.

Christina turned to George, "What do you think is going on?"

"I'm not sure..."

"Don't you think it's a little weird that he's the one who brought her in, especially this early in the morning?" she asked.

"Well she was home alone and she wasn't feeling so well , if she felt sick, she might have called him. I mean who else would she call?" George said.

"Finn." Christina said with emphasis, making George rethink his scenario.

"No. No, you're just being paranoid, besides, it doesn't matter who brought her in. I just hope she's okay," he said, taking a seat on one of the couches propped up next to the hallway wall. Christina, instead walked up to the main desk.

"Do you know what Meredith Grey was admitted here for?" she asked the nurse behind the desk.

"No, sorry, I don't. The doctor has yet to arrive and fill out the forms," she said.

Christina gave an audible sigh, "Thanks," she said and made her way back to George, plopping on the couch next to him, "She doesn't know anything."

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TBC... Hope you guys like it. I already have the next chapter finished, and I think its really good, but I'm going to refrain from posting two chapter in one night, its just more fun this way, hehe. If I get a good number of reviews, i'll add it when I get home from class tomorrow. So basically you have to review and let me know what you think about the story so that I will update faster, hehe. Oh, and yeah, I promise to let you know what's wrong with Meredith soon )


	13. You're Not Here As A Doctor

Hey guys! Its me! LOL. Okay so, since you all so very nicely screamed for more updates, I've decided to be nice and post this chapter before I leave for my second class of the day. How nice am I? ) LOL. Any ways, this is absolutely, positively, most definitely, my favorite chapter in the whole damn story! It's a little weird to say that, you know, because I wrote it, but I really do love this chapter. So please review and let me know what you thought of it. I hope you like it too, oh, and this chapter is going to answer/ address some of the questions you've had. So yeah, read on... hehe, I'm all happy! (happy cuz you're going to read my favorite chapter, yay!) LOL )

Again thanks for the awesome reviews, you're so nice & you guys rock! Now... on with the show...

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**Chapter 13- You're Not Here As A Doctor**

The nurse was quick, automatic, routine... Derek just stood back from Meredith's bed, hovering, watching as the nurse took blood samples and recorded her vitals on her chart. When she finished, she made her way towards Derek, handing him the chart on her way out. "The doctor will be in shortly," she said, almost whispering, keeping in tune with the atmosphere in the room. Derek just nodded his response and clutched onto the chart in his hand. He watched Meredith from where he stood, for some reason afraid to come any closer. He wanted to hold her, to touch her, to mend her wounds... but he'd broken her so many times before, and he kept braking her, despite how hard he tried not to, he always ended up braking her... he hated himself for it. He wanted nothing more than for her to be safe, happy... for her to be whole.

Just as Derek took a step towards Meredith, the room's door swung open and a doctor walked in, Derek stopped mid step and turned around, "Hi."

"Hello, Dr. Shepherd. That her chart?"

"Umm... Yeah," Derek said, handing it over, but wishing he hadn't, because now, for the first time in a long time, he didn't know what to do with himself. He settled on watching the doctor work, just as he had watched the nurse before. The doctor noticed Derek's behavior and stopped what he was doing.

"Dr. Shepherd?"

"Yes?" Derek said, prying his eyes off Meredith to give the doctor his attention.

"Perhaps you should wait outside."

Derek was confused, "What, why?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly as he stood up straighter.

The doctor sighed and walked closer to Derek, "Because, Dr. Shepherd, right now, you are obviously not in here as a doctor."

Derek was shocked that he was that transparent, everyone on the floor knew who he was and who his wife was, but it also dawned on him that almost everyone in the damned hospital also knew who Meredith was, and that he had made no attempt to hide anything about that or his feelings for her since he walked through the emergency room doors.

"Fine," he said with a slight hint of anger in his voice. Derek stepped outside and rested against the outer wall of the room not far from the door. He saw George and Christina sitting not to far away from him, staring at him, eager for news, but he just shock his head at them. He waited there for a while, hands shoved deep into his pockets, allowing a small sigh of relief to escape his lips at the fact that Addison wasn't the doctor on call, not knowing how he would handle that. He barely felt suited to be handling the situation he currently was at the moment. He couldn't believe everything that had happened to him in the last few hours, all the emotions that had gone through him. All the secrets he held... but he felt that he had to be strong for her, despite whatever he was feeling.

Derek felt useless, more than that he felt awkward just standing there; not knowing what to do, who to talk to, or what to say to Meredith's friends sitting in front of him, worried as much for her as he was. He didn't have many friends of his own, and he considered her friends his friends as well, and it hurt to not be able to tell them what was the matter with Meredith. But he couldn't betray Meredith's trust, as much as he needed someone to talk to, as much as he wanted someone to share his worries with, as much as he wanted a friend right now... he couldn't.

"He looks worried... I'm worried... are you worried?" George asked Christina.

"George, breath," she said, then after a beat, "Yes, I'm worried."

They sat in silence again, just staring at Derek by the door, "The doctor's been in there for quite a while. What could be wrong, I mean we're in OBG/YN!"

Before George could say anything, a pager went off. They both looked down, it was Christina's. She looked at it, then hooked it back on her belt, ignoring it. George gave her a look, "My patients labs are ready. It can wait." George smiled, Christina showing concern this way was rare, even though concern had manifested itself within her more often in the last couple of months, it was still rare for her to show it. George was proud, and he appreciated it.

Derek heard what was going on with George and Christina and decided to go sit next to them, as he did, George and Christina piped down, and just kind of stared at him, but no one said anything. As awkward as it was, it was nice to know that they were all their with the same concern for a friend, Derek, just wished he could let them know something. "She's going to be alright," he heard himself say softly, but not looking up from where he had fixed his eyes on the floor. The other two looked at him, slightly surprised as he spoke, his voice and his form making him seem so small.

"Right," Christina said.

At that same time the doctor came out of the room and walked over to the nurses station where he continued to make notes on Meredith chart. It took everyone a while to notice that instead of walking up to Derek to give him the report, the doctor made his way to the attending behind the station-- Addison Shepherd. The two doctors talked for a few seconds, Addison had an obvious look of shock on her face as the doctor gave her his report on Meredith, handing Addison the chart. They exchanged a few more words and then the doctor pointed in Derek's direction, indicating either that he was waiting for news or that he had brought her in. Derek saw this and he felt as if the wind got knocked out of him. He noticed the look on Addison's face, he couldn't figure it out... he didn't know if she was genuinely concerned, or if she suspected something more. He took a deep breath, and got up to talk to them. As he reached Addison, the other doctor walked away.

"So..."

Addison just gave him a look, "I've been calling you."

"I know."

"So, you're the one that brought her in this morning. Hmm... I guess that tells me why you didn't answer."

"Please, Addison, don't start. This is neither the time nor the place. What's the report," he said, turning the situation into a strictly professional one.

"Fine," she said. "From what I've been told, she's going to be fine, she going to need plenty of bed rest, and we are going to need to keep her here for observation, at the very least over night, but she should be fine. There is nothing that we should be overly concerned with, nothing extremely serious. In a nutshell, all the symptoms that you explained she was experiencing were the result of a massive panic attack. Now, aside from that, she does have a slight infection that we're going to treat with a few doses of antibiotics, we caught it early so there will be no ill affects from it. She also has a relatively high fever, normally I don't think it would be as high as it is, but as I assume you know, having a pregnancy termination procedure does make one prone to infection and fever, that accompanied with the symptoms of the panic attack only made things worse."

Derek nodded along, arms crossed across his chest listening intently, but George's and Christina's eyes went wide, as they heard the entire conversation from a few steps behind.

_Pregnancy? _George mouthed.

_Termination? _mouthed Christina.

"Pregnancy?" said a shocked voice behind everyone. They all turned around and saw Finn standing there, stunned and surprised, hair all matted from the rain. "Meredith's pregnant?"

George and Christina stepped out of the way, but remained close enough to be within ear shot of the situation that was going on in the hallway just outside of the room were Meredith was. "Finn. Hi," Addison said, taking a few steps toward him.

"I got a call from a nurse telling me Meredith was brought in in an emergency. What's wrong with her? Is she okay?" Finn said, worried.

"Umm.. she's going to be fine, Finn. She has a fever and is recovering from a pretty serious panic attack," Addison explained.

"Oh, Good. So, she's okay?"

"Yeah, she will be, she just needs to rest for a few days."

Through all of this Derek just stayed back, allowing Addison to do all the explaining. George and Christina were trying to not stare, trying hard not to let their jaws drop. Derek couldn't help but feel for Meredith, everything she was afraid of was coming true.

"But you said she is pregnant?" Finn said, directing the question at Addison, but looking at Derek.

"Umm... you didn't know?" Addison said.

"No, I didn't," he said, looking back at Addison.

"He doesn't look happy," George whispered.

"Shhh..." Christina said, hushing George with her hand.

"She didn't tell you?" Addison asked Finn.

"No."

"Well, Finn, I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but Meredith terminated her pregnancy this morning."

"Oh," he said nodding, a sad look on his face as he looked at Derek, who was trying hard to disappear into the wall he was leaning against. Finn stayed silent for a while, nodding, taking it all in, "Umm... Okay, well, I think... I think I'm going to go home now. Give her my best, okay."

"Finn, you know, you can go in with her, I mean, if you want to," Addison said, as Finn was already walking away from them.

Upon hearing her, he turned around, "Yeah, umm.. I shouldn't be here, this isn't...," he paused, not knowing exactly how to say what was on his mind, "Meredith and I, we never... you know? So, yeah, I shouldn't be here." He said and walked back down the hall, stopping only to give a meaning full look at Derek, knowing all to well who's baby it had actually been.

Addison too turned around and gave Derek a look, also knowing who's baby it had been, but she managed to remain somewhat professional, "So much for you and Meredith trying to hide the relationship between you two," she said under her breath and walked away saying, "She's going to be fine."

Derek slumped back onto the wall, rubbing his hands on his face and through his hair, George and Christina watched as both Finn and Addison walked away in different directions. They didn't know what to do, or what to say, so they just stayed there in the shadows, trying not to stare at Derek. Derek didn't notice them, his mind was racing, trying to process everything that had just happened, trying to understand all that both he and Meredith had lost. Trying to figure out if any good could come out of all that had happened. He turned around and saw that the doctor had left the door to Meredith's room open, he made his way over to it to close it.

As he reached his hand in to pull the handle towards him, he heard Meredith's quiet voice, "Derek?"

He paused in his movement to shut the door and instead walked in, making sure to close the door behind him. "Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?" he said walking towards her and sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I heard everything," she told him, trying to sit up on the bed. "I saw Addison talking to you... and I heard Finn..."

Derek didn't really know what to say to her, but he could see that she was starting to get agitated again, "Please, try not to worry," he said soothingly, placing a hand on her shoulder to try to get her to lay back down, "just concentrate on getting better, you had a pretty rough panic attack." She laid her head back down on the pillow and sighed, trying to control her breathing. "I'm sorry."

She turned her head to see him, "What?"

"I'm sorry that you have to go though all this. I'm sorry that I made you cry. Confronting you the way that I did was inexcusable and totally unacceptable. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I ultimately made you have a panic attack. Im sorry. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. Never." He said quietly, "Please forgive me, Meredith. I'm so sorry." She stared at him, understanding that he was apologizing not only for the events of the last few hours, but for everything before in their relationship. She nodded and smiled in response, reaching out to take his hand in hers. He smiled slightly, as he felt her squeeze his hand.

"I don't know what to do," she finally said after a while, the smile disappearing from her face.

"About what?"

"Finn... and Addison," she said, mentally adding _us_ to the list.

"Oh. Well, I'm not sure about Finn, but, you don't have to worry about Addison, not one bit, okay?"

"I-- I... I don't know... Derek, I don't know... and I'm so tired," she said a few tears forming and falling from her eyes.

He moved his head closer to hers and wiped away a tear, keeping his hand on her face as he whispered, "Hey, right now, you don't have to worry about anyone, or anything, okay. Concentrate on you. Try to relax, sleep, get better. That's all that matters, okay?" she stayed quiet, "Everything will work out the way that it's supposed to, just give it time, and everything will be fine."

She smiled slightly, he was being so sweet and comforting, and he was ultimately right, "Okay," she whispered, "But I think I want to be alone for a little while."

"Okay," he said, squeezing her hand gently, smiling, "Get some rest," he told her, getting up off the bed, and with out thinking twice, placed a small kiss on her forehead before he left the room.

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TBC...

Awww... hehe. Love this chapter! Okay, I'll stop that now. So yeah, let me know what you think! Hope you liked Derek in this piece, I know some people wanted to see a happy moment between him and Meredith and look, I already had it! Ha ha. Okay, so that was a pretty long chapter, and sorry, but you are not going to get another update until after Episode Three of "Grey's Anatomy" on Thursday (only on ABC, LOL, look at me, Im giving them a free promo!). Really, I'm sorry, but, no. This is because the story is winding down and the end of it is a few chapters away :sniff sniff: (besides, as always, I'm still changing and adding things to those chapters). So in any case, I really hope that you have been enjoying it and are enjoying "All in Due Time." Thank you!... don't forget to review )


	14. Waiting

Hello every one::waves::

So, yeah. I have been away for about a month now. I said I'd update after episode three aired (its up to like what episode 7 now) and, well, technically, this is after, LOL. But seriously, I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't leave anyone waiting... no, wait, yes I do. Because that means that there are actually people waiting to continue reading my story, and that's always cool. But yeah, I kinda got behind with "All in Due Time." I got a little sick with a cold, then school came with all its papers being due and midterms and books to read and all that good stuff... so I didn't have time to write. But I did have time to watch "Grey's" every Thursday, LOL... but enough of that... this is the next chapter, which I rewrote from its original version (not that you care about that, hehe), hope you guys like it, and I promise to try to update more regularly... but remember, the story is winding down to the end from here on in, so I really, really hope that you have been enjoying it.

Okay... on with the story!

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**Chapter 14: Waiting**

Derek quietly closed the door to Meredith's room and made his way out into the now quiet and deserted hallway. He scanned around looking for either Christina or George, knowing that they wouldn't have wandered to far off without any additional news on Meredith's condition. He rounded the corner of the hallway and spotted them sitting on the floor talking quietly amongst themselves. As soon as they were aware of his presence they stopped talking and quickly stood up.

"So, umm... I'm guessing that you guys heard everything that Addison said?" he asked him.

"Oh, well... umm... we... we where just..." they both stammered in unison.

Derek couldn't help but smile a bit at their flustered expressions, and raised his hand to quiet them down, "It's alright," he said, still smiling to let them know that it was okay. "Don't worry about Meredith, she's going to be fine. She just needs some rest."

"So, she had a panic attack because of the... umm..." Christina said, gesturing with her hands, trying to get across her meaning without actually saying it.

"Yeah," Derek said understanding, the smile fading from his lips, "Plus, I said and did a few things that didn't help much either," he said looking down at his feet, Christina didn't really understand what he meant by that, but she didn't pursue it.

"So, can we go in and see her?" George asked.

"She actually wants to be alone right now," he said, turning back to glance in the general direction of the room as he spoke, "Besides, I'm pretty sure that they gave her a sedative, so she's should be sleeping for the next few hours or so," he explained.

Just then Christina's pager went off again, "Damn it. I got to go, excuse me," she said, then to George, "Let me know how she's doing." George just nodded as he and Derek watched Christina head towards the elevators to respond to her page.

Derek started to walk away, but something was bugging him, something he needed to know, just for the sake of knowing, "George?"

"Yeah?"

Derek paused for a second before asking, "Just out of curiosity, did either one of you have one of the nurses call Finn?"

"What? Oh, no. No, not us," George said, but upon seeing Derek frown, he knew that he was curious as to how Finn had come to know Meredith was at the hospital, so he proceeded to explain it to him as best he could, "I think that Finn is listed as her emergency contact. I know that Meredith didn't want anyone of us from the hospital to be one, you know, since we're always so busy. So I guess that she must have put down Finn's information not to long ago."

"Oh, okay," Derek said, accepting the explanation. He let out a loud sigh as he slid down the face of the wall to sit down on the floor below, taking a position much like the one he had found the two interns in only minutes before. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, just staring off into the distance.

George noticed that Derek was lost in his own thoughts once more. He figured the man was rattled beyond belief trying to formulate solutions to the various problems in his mind; he couldn't even begin to figure out how Derek was managing with everything that he must be feeling. He knew that he had been worried and filled with concern, and the situation in the hallway earlier probably did nothing to calm or alleviate his nerves and anxieties. George figured that he was probably only now starting to come down from his adrenaline high.

"So, Meredith's going to be out for a while, right?" George asked.

"Yeah. A couple of hours at least," answered Derek, never lifting his head.

"Alright, then, I'm going to go home and check on Izzie. I'll be back soon," George said down to Derek.

"Sure."

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TBC... So whatcha think!? Okay, I know that that was really short and I know its not necessarily the best chapter (I'm not sure I like it to much, it didn't come out like I envisioned it...), but its kinda just an intermission chapter since the previous chapter was so intense. At least I think it was intense. Please let me know! I just absolutely love it when you guys leave reviews and comments. You rock!!! I'll try to update before Thursday since I have a midterm tomorrow and whatnot... so yeah. )

**A/N:** So yeah, completely off topic, but since this story is ending, I've begun tinkering with a new idea for a Grey's fic. It's been nagging at me, so I finally started writing some notes down for it. It's something completely different than what i've seen done within "Grey's Anatomy" fan fiction, so if you like my style of writing, keep an eye out for it, most likely than not it will be titled "The Promise." )


	15. Conversation With A Friend

Hey Guys!!! How you all doing? Hope all is well. Okay, really, I have got to stop saying specific dates about when I'm going to get around to update this fic, because I never seem to get around to it in time! Hehe, MeredithandDerek, you were right, I guess I didn't mean that specific Thursday, LOL. Oh, well, I'm here now and I'm updating! Oh, before we get to that, did you guys watch Grey's this Thursday? Wow! And then that preview for next Thursday, even bigger WOW! LOL. Anyway... OKay, so, here's the next installment, it's kinda on the short side, and I'm not sure that I'm all that happy with it, but I really do hope that you guys do enjoy it. Please, don't forget to Review! (extended A/N at the end).

Enjoy... :0)

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**Chapter 15: Conversation with a Friend**

It had been hours since Meredith had been admitted to the hospital, and the sun was beginning to set over the city, causing slight shadows to stream in through the blinds on the window. No one had come in to visit her since she had asked Derek to be left alone, though that didn't help to keep her friends to far away. Christina, finally done with her shift for the day, made her way up to the fourth floor again and walked down the hallways to Meredith's room once more. No one was outside her door this time, and the entire floor had become eerily silent as the patients slept.

"Mer?... Meredith?" Christina whispered as she gently opened the door to Meredith's hospital room, and snuck her head inside through the small crack between the door and the wall. She stood there for a few seconds waiting for any kind of reaction from her, but the room was dark and she couldn't quite tell if Meredith was sleeping or not, "You awake?"

"No," Meredith answered, exhaustion and tears evident in her voice.

"Oh, alright then," Christina said, straightening up and coming into the room, no longer trying to be quite. Meredith was on her side, curled up in a small ball, facing away from Christina, staring at the wall next to her bed, clutching a tattered kleenex in her hand. "How are you feeling?" she finally asked.

Meredith took in a deep and shaky breath, contemplating her answer, before ultimately whispering, "Empty."

Christina heart went out to her friend. She stayed silent for a few moments, comfort wasn't her forte and she wasn't exactly sure what to say, if anything at all. She sighed quietly to herself and took the few steps towards Meredith's bed and carefully sat on its edge, "I know how you feel."

"I know..." Meredith said slowly, "...but this is different... _I_ did this." She paused, thinking over what she had just said, somehow still not quite believing it. Meredith had a pretty good idea that Christina already knew everything that had happened, or at least, had figured out most of it by now. She knew that she had probably heard the commotion outside her room earlier, and it was pointless to try to continue hiding things from her friend, "Plus, you still have Burke..." she continued, "I don't even know what I have anymore."

"Yeah, well, you know, Shepherd's being pretty--"

"McDreamy?" Meredith finished for her.

"Yeah, McDreamy," Christina said, growing quite again. It was hard to think of anything to say that would remotely help the situation, she knew from experience that there was very little anyone could do or say to make her feel better, but she felt a responsibility to Meredith to at least try. Meredith had been there for her, and now she was here for Meredith. But Christina found it extremely difficult and frustrating talking to Meredith, when Meredith would not turn around to face her.

"I didn't want to do it, you know," Meredith said quietly after a while, breaking the silence that had settled in the room.

"What? You mean the..."

"At least I think I didn't want to do it... I wasn't sure. I think I wanted it... but then..." she stopped and sighed, "I don't know. I walked in there and... and I don't know, I did it, and then I don't know. But it was all I could do," she said as a silent tear rolled down her face.

Christina didn't fully understand what Meredith was telling her, but she did understand the grief and doubt that she was undoubtedly feeling. Then she remembered what Shepherd had said earlier that had made her uneasy, _I said and did a few things that didn't help much either, _"Mer, did... umm... did Shepherd make you do something you didn't want to?" Christina asked, worried.

"No," Meredith answered quickly, understanding what Christina meant, "No, he didn't even know 'till tonight, and he's not angry. He's being really supportive and understanding, and I'm grateful... but I still feel empty. I feel lost."

"You know, we're all here for you. Why didn't you say anything?" Christina asked.

Meredith was unsure of how to answer. She had been worried about what people would think of her, with everything that already circulated about her through the hospital, she didn't feel the need to add to it. She didn't want to be that girl who broke up a marriage more than once by becoming pregnant. She didn't want to put Derek in an awkward position. She just didn't want anyone to ever find out... "I was scared," she finally said.

"I understand," said Christina, turning to see that Meredith was wiping her eyes with the kleenex again, "Meredith--"

"I'm still scared," she said, "I don't know what's going to happen with Derek, what's going to happen between us... or him and Addison... then there's Finn. I know he was here."

"Yeah, I saw him."

For the first time, Meredith turned around in the bed and faced Christina, "What should I do?"

All Christina could do was just stare back at Meredith and sigh, she knew that her friend wanted advice, anything really, but she wasn't sure of what to say, everything was complicated and anything could happen at this point, "I don't know."

"Me neither," Meredith said.

"Just give it time." There was silence in the room again as Meredith went back to staring at the wall, "Everything will be okay, you'll see. Just give it time, and remember that we are all here for you," Meredith couldn't help but smile at the fact that that was exactly what Derek had said to her, but Christina didn't notice, and so continued, "You know, George was here with me earlier, I'm sure he might be coming in later," she said.

"I just want to be alone," Meredith said, her smile already gone, having disappeared as quickly as it had manifested.

"You really shouldn't be alone," Christina said.

"So I've been told."

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TBC... liked it? Please let me know! I just love it when you review!!!

**A/N1**: So, I don't know when I'm going to be able to update again. I really want to rewrite the last few chapters and make them a little longer, (they're on the short side right now). Also, I have a five page paper to write, then I'm going home for Thanksgiving, then when I get back I have another 10-15 page paper to do, then finals... geez! So, I don't know when I'll have the time to update, but I will finish this fic! Also, Im working on that other fic i told you about, so yeah, I'm really excited about that one, can't wait for people to read it. And... I got an idea for yet another Grey's fic... hehe, and I also have to finish my stargate sg-1 one too (and start one that I have for Atlantis... geez... way to much writing, lol!!). But yeah, I'll try to get back soon. Again thanks for reading!!! and Happy Thanksgiving! )

**A/N2**: Okay, I was kinda hesitant to address this again, but I think I'm going to anyways, sorry, please bear with me. Like I said before, the pregnancy and abortion subject here were just to make the story interesting. I know that its controversial, but like I said, its just a story and it does happen in real life. And while I agree, that I don't really think that Meredith on the show would actually go through with an abortion no matter who the baby's father is (at least thats what I think sometimes, she'll definitely have some serious turmoil though), in this story she has her reasons, that to me make sense. She was scared and wanted to help Derek. Plus, in this story, she kinda didn't want to go through with it anyway, but ultimately did (she pretty much says as much in this chapter which, to make clear, most of was already written a long time ago). Im not mad, (really, I'm not), or bitter or anything like that, I just thought that I'd make it clear ) Again, thanks for reading and reviewing, You guys ROCK!!!! )


	16. Hello's and Sorry's

Hey Everyone,

I know that I have been extremely bad in updating this fic, especially since it is so close to being finished. I am so sorry for lagging it! But this school quarter has been bloody hectic!! Waaaay to much writing that doesn't give me time to write for the stories that I have up, or am trying to put up. Plus, I do procrastinate so, yeah. Anyways, hopefully there are still those of you out there who are still reading this little story of mine and will wait for me to finish it-- because I will finish it. I will probably, most likely than not, have the next chapter up in about 2 weeks, I should be done with all my other work by then. Hope you stick around!!

Thanks a bunch & take care!!

- ME!! )


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